Self-love is vital to your sanity…..

My Pastor asked this question a while ago in one of his sermons… “if you are bored with you, what do you expect others to be when they are around you”? That question got me thinking…..

I am a people person and I will talk to anyone. It honestly doesn’t take me any time to make an acquaintance. I love hosting, planning things and just making sure that people are having a great time. Seeing others laugh and have a great time makes me happy. I used to feel as though I had to be around people all the time to get this feeling. However, after that sermon from my pastor, I realized that one of the most important people that I needed to make smile, laugh and happy was ME! I started doing things alone, like going out to eat (my favorite past time, don’t judge me), going to the movies, the park to read, dancing at home (with no rhythm) and anything I could to have a good time. See, I changed my perspective on fun and who had to be present for me to be having a good time. If Rose is present, then I’m good. πŸ™‚

You see when I embraced and started enjoying my own company, it gave me a better sense of who I was and what interests me. Which then allowed me to choose my inner circle more carefully. Knowing myself allowed me to decide who and what was acceptable in my life. Nikki Giovanni said it best, “deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect and make everyone else deal with you in the same way”. If I have positive energy when I am alone, then that is all I accept in my presence when others want to be around me. What I give out is what I expect back; my sanity matters.Β 

I decided to do something new for my birthday this year. I took a trip to NYC, with me to celebrate me! Now, I have never taken a trip anywhere that I did not have a travel buddy or was not meeting people upon arrival. But, there I was alone and happy for the beginning of #Chapter33WithMe. I cannot tell you how many funny looks I received when I walked into restaurants to eat and said “table for one please”. And on my actual birthday, I heard “you’re alone” so many times it was funny. I wanted to hold a sign up that read: ‘yes, I came to NYC alone for my birthday’….lol. It was so liberating to boldly stroll down the streets of Manhattan alone (well, as alone as you can be with thousands of others in Times Square). I had a great time just enjoying me! I ate, laughed, shopped, walked all up and down Times Square, people watched (and there are many things to see) and had a blast. We often take more time enjoying the company of others that we neglect ourselves and this was a time for me to reconnect with me. And honestly, I cannot wait to do another solo trip.

Loving yourself is important. Staying true to who you are keeps you sane. The beauty of enjoying you is that no one else can tell you how to enjoy your own company. I encourage you to start enjoying you. Consider taking a trip or start small and go to the movies alone; I go on Tuesdays because it’s $5 all day…lol. Do something that pushes you to embrace the you that you have never met. After all, your biggest fan should be YOU! πŸ™‚



Author: Rose

I’m Rose Kehinde, founder of Rose Colored Lenses. My mission and goal is to create a platform that allows us to help each other on this journey called life. As you read from me, you will see my heart and in turn I hope to see yours as well. This journey called life requires us all to work together.


18 thoughts on “Self-love is vital to your sanity…..

  1. This is a great article and one I should take some advice on! I never do anything for me and always go out my way to make sure others are happy! Great article!

    1. Thank you David! I totally understand what you mean and it’s very easy to think of others more especially, if you’re a selfless person. So, let me engage you in a friendly challenge. Before the end of the summer do something for you and come back and share with me what it was. Are you up for that?

    1. Yes, we do and we get so caught up in making others feel great and neglect the most important person in the world. *man in the mirror*

  2. This is so nice and pleasing to read. Yes being around people is always a thing for some that will make them happy but its true that alone time is also needed. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so others can read this amazing content.

    1. Thank you kindly!
      You are so right; we have to do better about caring for self. πŸ™‚

  3. Self love beats every relationship tip out there. Once you learn to love and enjoy your own company thats when others will do the same. Great post.

    1. Thank you Jane!
      Yes, it truly does and I’m glad that I learned it fairly early in my adult life. πŸ™‚

  4. Reading this really blessed me. It made me realize that I haven’t spent anytime loving on me. Being mommy, wifey, daughter, friend and the HR lady day after day I neglect me time. Thank you my Tulip.

    1. My Hev! You’re welcome and always remember that the way to continue being A1 in all these roles is if the core of you is being loved by you! 😊

  5. Rose, my friend, I think you are just wonderful! I enjoy doing things alone as well… get to do what I want, when I want, and how I want without having to be concerned with others at the time… it’s liberating… and besides. I am the best company I know! Haha

    1. My sweet Kathy!!! Thank you beautiful! You are absolutely right, you are the best company. πŸ™‚

  6. This piece gives me chills. Before any relationship through my life was healthy and real, whether friend or love , I had to discover who I was. I took a few years and did just that…since I have never felt lonely or out of place.. The lessons that can come from that journey are vital to living the life that we want. I’m so excited you are sharing your experience. It is quite the reminder to reconnect with myself…it has been a while. Much love!

    1. Yes, you must always take time for yourself because your sanity matters too!!! I appreciate you Marcie. πŸ™‚

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