Hello lovely people! My name is Britne and I am so happy and honored to be a guest writer here on Rose Colored Lenses! As a new up and coming blogger myself, I find it incredible that the work I’m doing over at The Destiny Dive has gotten me noticed enough to be asked to guest write on a blog as great as this one! When Rose approached me about writing a post for RCL, she said that she wanted to engage her audience on the topic of strength and I thought to myself “this is perfect timing!” I am coming up on my one year wedding anniversary next month, so I have found myself doing a lot of reflecting on what this first year of marriage has been like. And honestly it has been great! But as a new wife I’ve learned quickly that it takes a great deal of strength to ensure that you’re relationship and marriage is consistently in a place of benevolence and love. Just like with any relationship, platonic or romantic, it takes work and maintenance if you want to make it last any substantial amount of time. And at the center of the work and maintenance is, yep you guessed it, strength! I want to share 7 situations with you guys today (in no particular order) that requires strength to make any relationship work, especially a marriage!
Putting Someone Else’s Needs Before Your Own
As a single person, it is automatic that you are at the center of your world! Everything is about you, and why wouldn’t it be? Doing what you want and what makes you happy comes first and it’s of top priority. However, when you get into a relationship with someone you have to make sure that you’re taking into consideration the needs of your partner. It’s no longer 100% about you first.
I was going to try to make a complete sentence like compromising when *fill in the blank here* but compromising period takes a lot of strength. Marriage requires a lot of compromising and sometimes you have to be the one to go without that thing that you really want in order to make sure that the relationship is stable. Now let me say that you should not be the only one compromising. But be prepared to miss out on a few things, or at the very least alter a few things, to make sure that your marriage or relationship has longevity.
Picking Your Battles
I don’t know about you guys, but picking and choosing my battles wisely takes a lot of strength. In marriage, there are going to be things done and said that are not always going to make you happy. However, these “things” have a level of severity to them, and you have to prioritize what warrants a battle. If your husband leaves the toilet seat up more than you would like for him to, it may just be easier to double check and close it yourself instead of starting World War III every time it happens. If your husband continuously makes egregious financial decisions, a battle may need to ensue. Just remember that not every little thing calls for an argument.
Letting the Other Person “Win” the Argument
I know we’ve all been there where we’re in a stern discussion, debate, or argument with bae and we are absolutely right! (S)he is just flat out wrong, but there is no telling him/her that. If your bae is anything like my hubby, then you already know they’re stubborn and don’t back down easily. Well sometimes in the relationship it’s better to let them “win” the argument so that you guys can get past it and move on. It takes practice and mounds of strength to be able to walk away from the situation that you are indeed correct in. But for the sake of your relationship, sometimes (meaning NOT every time) letting the other person “win” has to be done.
Accepting Your Partner’s Flaws
Of course we love our significant other flaws and all (cue Beyoncé). I mean you already knew that she didn’t like to be touched all the time like you prefer. You knew that he doesn’t plan ahead in advance like you do. You knew long before you two were married that she gossiped more than you care to know, or that he was very blunt with his words. But you decided that you could handle those things for the long haul. However, just because you’ve accepted them doesn’t mean that there aren’t still times you quietly wish to yourself that he or she would change just a teensy bit. Having the strength to understand that you can’t force someone to change takes a great deal of patience. And vice versa (having the patience to understand that you can’t force someone to change takes a great deal of strength).
Taking Responsibility for Your Own Flaws
Yes it’s true that we can’t change other people, even our spouses. But you can most definitely change yourself! We all have certain flaws and issues that we deal with and if the truth be told, we know that there is room to change or correct these things. But usually what happens is we make excuses for ourselves not to change. You know the ones, “This is just who I am,” “I’ve been this way for X amount of years,” “I can’t change” or “he knew that about me before he proposed.” It’s time out for excuses, and time in to find the strength to make changes to yourself not only for the betterment of your relationship, but for the betterment of you.
Always Making the Decision to Choose Love
Anyone who is married knows that it takes work. Even if your relationship is close to perfect, it’s not in any way perfect. There will be times when you’re tired, frustrated, aggravated, and irritated. You and your spouse may hit a period where every little thing he or she does is annoying. You may not understand the other person or their point of view at times. But no matter what hardship may come your way, you have to ALWAYS make the decision to choose love and your marriage. It takes strength to do, but the reward is priceless!
I’m sure this list could go on and on with a plethora of situations that require strength to make your relationship last a couple of forevers (hey Chrisette). At the end of the day, strength for a relationship doesn’t mean that the task at hand is daunting. It just means that you cherish the institution of your marriage, relationship, or friendship and you want to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to make it work. I really hope you enjoyed this list and I want you to add to it! Let us know in the comment section what requires strength in your relationship! We can’t wait to hear from you. If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out The Destiny Dive every Tuesday and Thursday for brand new material all about motivation, inspiration, and encouragement. You can also follow The Destiny Dive on Instagram and like us on Facebook! It has been a pleasure to speak to you all through Rose Colored Lenses and I especially want to thank Rose herself for giving me the opportunity to do so!
Until next time!
Britne, The Destiny Dive
Author: Britne D.
Mrs. Britne Daughtdrill is a guest contributor on Rose Colored Lenses. She is a blogger and mental health professional out of Nashville, TN. Britne is the founder of a platform called The Destiny Dive. It’d be awesome if you could check out her blog at thedestinydive.com.